he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You're like the curious george of whores
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
