I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
