The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
how drunk are you?
Several
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
