Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
