walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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