Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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