i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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