He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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