My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Is Oprah even human
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
