Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize