haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
