do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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