I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
