I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize