Plan B is the new Plan A
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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