this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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