Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
