...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
