So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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