I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
