We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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