i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
