wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize