Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
