im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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