My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
