I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
