The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
