But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
