They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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