If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
