Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
