His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
