all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
