Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
