She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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