Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
