How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
