I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
