i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
