HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Success! We fucked roommates!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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