We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
