Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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