my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
