Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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