I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize