he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
