She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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