okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
