and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize