time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
