So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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