He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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