wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
