Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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