I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
