i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize