So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
