Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
