3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
