we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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