i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
