Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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