I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
