i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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