He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
