i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
