I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
