I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
