You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
