No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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