Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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