There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize