I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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