I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
