She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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