i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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