when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
