May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
