i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
