I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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