I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
